Dec

5

Why You Must Detach Yourself Emotionally In Business

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why-you-must-detach-yourself-emotionally-in-business

Here’s a very important lesson that must be learnt in order for your business to really take off and for it to be everything you want it to be.  Watch the short video first then read the article below.

A couple of days ago I woke up to one of those winter mornings where there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, not a breath of wind and there was a deep frost on the ground.  Beautifully clear, crisp and still.  My favourite type of day.

That was a good enough reason for me to go for a walk right there, however there was another reason, that would shortly present itself.  When I turned my computer on, it confirmed that I had a problem, a problem that I had in fact had, by this time, for 4 days.  One of my servers was down.  Well, a server that one of my sites is hosted on.  It was a site I have had running for about 2 years now called The Soccer Blog.

This was on Wednesday morning, the server had been now from the previous Saturday evening.  So, that just confirmed the fact I was off for an early morning walk.

As I was walking and enjoying the beautiful morning I began to think about the server and I laughed at myself as I looked back about two and a half years to when I first started out online.  Why?  Well, because back then, my reaction to this server “problem” would have been oh so very different to now.  Now I decided I was just going to go for a walk.  Back in the early days, I would have been panicing, I would have been very anxious.  Basically I would have been a complete nervous wreck and, most likely, I would have been taking it out on some poor unsuspecting person in a very unprofessional manner.

Since I have been online I have learned some very important skills.  However, there aren’t too many more important, more fundamental than this lesson.  Since those early days I have taught myself how to emotionally detach myself from the outcome of everything I do in my business.  Let me just clarify that.  I’m not saying that I don’t work hard, I don’t care about what I do and how I do it.  I most definitely do.  What I mean is, I no longer demand of myself that everything I do must be 100% perfect, must always work, that the prospect I am speaking to has to join me in my business etc.  Do you see the difference?

When you are like that you demand too much of yourself, you are too emotionally involved and therefore you come over as being anxious, nervous and needy etc, because you are.  You know, sometimes things just don’t go as you had hoped, sometimes people aren’t very nice on the phone, sometimes servers just crash.

Let’s take an example of you talking to that prospect on the phone whilst you are in the wrong state of mind.  The prospect will sense it, they will pick up on it through what you are saying, how you say it.   People do, and they are not very attrative traits.  Why would anyone decide to join you?  Answer is, they wouldn’t.  Believe me!

You have to learn to step back, detach yourself emotionally from the outcome of that phone call (or whatever it is you are doing).  You have to be at ease with yourself, you have to be you. If you let yourself get carried away with a situation, it is very easy to react in such a way that it will hurt the situation rather than help it. You lose out, no one else, just you.

I’m sure if you have been online for any lenght of time you will have heard the terms “attraction marketing” and “personal branding”.  Well, I suppose “attraction marketing” is a little about what I’m talking about.  I mean if you are still emotionally involved you are not going to be very attractive.  But I think a better way of describing what I’m talking about is another term.  This was recently coined by a good friend of mine and I think it hits the nail on the head!  ”Authentic Marketing”!

That’s what you need to be, totally authentic.  When you are relaxed and emotionally detached, that’s what you become, you become authentic.  And when you are authentic you are you, you are natural.  There’s no edge, there’s no anxiety etc, and that’s far more attractive.  Don’t you agree?  I hope so.  

I hope you found this article and video helpful and if you have any questions or want to chat about this or anything in fact, please do get in touch.  I’d love to hear from you.

All the best

Rik

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Nov

12

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Filed Under Emotional Intelligence | Leave a Comment

what-is-emotional-intelligence

Being a relatively new area in psychology, emotional intelligence is still on its way to be fully recognized. It is likely that you may find various definitions of emotional intelligence since many experts still disagree about what this area of intelligence truly measures. However, it is clear that lately more and more  people have shown a great interest on this area of personality.

Intelligence and cognition are two distinctly separated components of human intelligence. IQ is the parameter of measuring cognitive capacities and is said to be constant at any moment it is measured. Although, it may be improved and maximized. Nevertheless, it would still be limited by the constant value the Intellectual Quotient present. Say, if a person has an IQ score of 118, then it is possible that this would remain the same throughout the person’s life. A change of a point or two may occur perhaps due to developmental factors or margin of error given to a specific IQ test.

But the case is different with Emotional Intelligence.

It has been observed how quickly one can change from a single emotion to another. But this of course depends on the person subjected to the test or in any given situation. We all react differently to different conditions and there is still no concrete parameter available. Emotions themselves are inconsistent. They largely depend with the person experiencing them.

Due to inconsistencies, no one can still accurately determine how to measure emotional intelligence fully. There is no complete separation line between knowledge and intelligence. Various definitions say the emotional intelligence is dynamic and changes invariably depending on what condition the person is faced with. It therefore, can be increased or decreased.  At times it may even be lost. Other experts disagree saying that emotions are stable and therefore, cannot be affected by any condition.

One thing is central to these though, emotions are developed and we are not innately equipped with them at the time of childbirth. Emotions were not even implanted in us during our prenatal stage nor are they recorded in our genes. In a way, they are developed only according to the experiences we had during growth. They only arise when specific stimuli arise.

Emotional intelligence is the capacity of an individual to define his or her own emotions and to become sensitive to those that he perceives from the environment and the circle of people he is interacting with. It may also be that emotional intelligence is the use of knowledge of these emotions to control situations and create plans and decisions based on the perceived emotions. Other resources would further add that emotional intelligence is part of our personality that dictates us to become more aware of what triggered a specific reaction, both done by the self and people surrounding the “self”. It is also known to be the use of emotions to reason out.

There are too many definitions on what emotional intelligence truly is. So far, we have gathered two constants, emotion and understanding the context and concepts of emotions.

In the end, emotional intelligence is much too focused on one’s understanding and utilization of his or her emotions and in identification of another person’s emotions. These combined will help them determine the proper actions they must make in order to create viable decisions. But emotional intelligence is of course, broader, a lot broader, than this brief interpretation here.

Rik

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